Let’s examine these three concepts as we look at being a disciple-maker.  Grace is unmerited favor.  Grace is what we receive from God because of Christ’s work on the cross.  We do not deserve His favor, but God chooses to give it because our sin has been atoned for (payed for) on the cross.  Because we deserve death and condemnation due to our sin and yet receive God’s favor instead as believers in Christ, He calls us to treat others with that grace.  For there is nothing that they can do to us that we have not done infinitely more to God.  ”Be kind one to another, forgiving one another just as God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

As a disciple-maker, there will be much opportunity for grace to be given.  Because disciple-making involves a relationship, there will be conflict and wrong and sin.  No matter how much commitment the disciple has, sin enters in (as does the disciple maker’s).  Without grace, the gospel is missed in the relationship.  We act in accordance with the power of the gospel by showing grace to one another.  I can give countless examples of how I have been called to show grace to young women whether it involved a minor infraction of someone being late to deceit or anger lashed out at me.  Without grace, the disciple-maker becomes a task master or a law enforcement officer.  Much spiritual abuse has been handed down from disciple-making gurus who judge the character and slap the hands of those not performing well.

In “The Cost of Discipleship,” Bonhoeffer talks about the concept of cheap grace compared with costly grace.  Grace without Truth becomes cheap grace.  Bonhoeffer asserts “cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.”   In a disciple-making relationship, this would be the equivalent of saying it doesn’t matter what you do or say…overlooking blatant sin and being flippant about sin.  Allowing someone to treat you as a doormat would be preaching cheap grace by your actions.  Bonhoeffer asserts “costly grace confronts us as a gracious call to follow Jesus, it comes as a word of forgiveness to the broken spirit and the contrite heart. It is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” “

An example of giving costly grace involves marrying unmerited favor with the Truth that sin is serious.  Sin is so serious that an innocent God-man had to bear the wrath of His Father for your sin–your blatant rebellion, your lack of care.  We are called to repent of sin and to be holy as God is holy…this is done in the Gospel.  Cheap grace does not treat sin seriously, but costly grace treats sin with gravity and treats God’s holiness with the respect it deserves.  If you, as a disciple-maker, treat sin lightly and God’s holiness lightly, you are not marrying Grace with Truth.  It becomes cheap.

Without Truth, there would be no reason to be a disciple-maker.  Truth teaches God’s character, the gospel, and the very direction one’s life in Christ is to take–one’s very Hope.  Without the foundation of Truth, we are lost.  A disciple-maker who does not walk in truth or teach Truth is leading their disciple astray.  God’s word is to be our food.  Without food, we cannot live.  Without His Truth, we cannot grow or live.

The problem becomes when we impart Truth as simply knowledge , a textbook, or a weapon.  Truth without grace can become something to perform by self-righteousness.  It can also become a weapon to use against someone else.  Many may memorize and study without any regard to heart change.  It does not make it less True, but it can lose the power of it’s effectiveness without Grace.  It becomes twice the condemner of the self-righteous for they are not following the gospel truth but relying on their own righteousness which Isaiah refers to as a soiled period cloth.  The truth can also be lobbed as bombs of judgement on a person’s life without the love and concern of the person’s heart.  If all the disciple gets is criticized with the truth they look up to see a Pharisee task master without the heart of the gospel.

Those who have been given grace and understand the magnitude of Truth are usually eager to share that.  As a disciple-maker, this marriage is where we aim–grace and truth in tandem.

An experienced disciple-maker or parent knows that each of these things may be present and change may not occur instantly or at all.  Think on your own life.  You may have grown up around truth and been given grace over and over again by those around you, but it did not click in your heart and head until a later time.  In fact, you might not have even been aware that truth was shared or grace was given because you did not have eyes to see or interpret it.  Or, you were terribly offended by the truth shared with you while you were in sin and it was at a later date that your heart’s desire changed and you could swallow the truth and see the reality of your heart.

Time is the hardest part for me.  I want women to get the truth and grace and to learn quickly and to change quickly.  I forget the patience God has had with me to teach and train me to be like Him, the patience to bear with my sin and idolatry in order to lead me to repentance.  I forget the pain and the wrestling that I have been trained in order to become more like Christ and to treasure Christ first.  I get impatient and want others to skip the process.  I want to be God and get instant results instead of waiting on Him with them or on their behalf.  It becomes about me and my comfort instead of loving them well.  However, God teaches me that time is of essence every time in every relationship.  I am called to continue speaking truth, showing grace, and pleading with Him to work until He works in their heart.

When He does open their eyes and bring fruit and growth, you truly know it is of Him and not you.  I have to be reminded of this all the time–over and over.  It helps for me to remember girl’s lives that I have prayed for and shared with and waited on God .  He is faithful and He has been faithful with me.  As a disciple-maker, God is continually teaching me I cannot produce fruit but I can plant and wait on the One who waters in His own time.

A warning to those who want to make disciples:  If you are unwilling to be patient and wait on God while teaching truth and extending grace, walk away.  You can do a lot of damage in your sin of being impatient and longing to control.  More on this later…

I have seen much more molding of Christ-likeness in my life from pouring out into these women than I ever imagined.  When you think of leading someone else, you think of dealing with their stuff–not yours.  However, in relationship, your stuff comes to the surface.

My stuff has come to the surface as of late.  Stuff is such a benign term—it’s more like sludgy dark sin.  The thing about my sin is that I have been trained to make it look admirable to others.  IT IS NOT.  My sludge comes to the surface when those I disciple struggle in rebellion.  They are not following “my plan.”  How gross is that to even say?  In my flesh, I want people to conform on the outside…to do the “right” thing.  To lead well and follow well.  The problem is that people can fake this and not be changed on the heart level.  We have all done it–AND THAT IS NOT LIFE.

I am reminded time and time again, this relationship is not about me.  It is not about reproducing me or making me look good.  It is about reproducing Christ-like character born of the Spirit.  It is about the heart–the depths of the heart where idols are many.  It can get ugly but it can be beautiful when the gospel breathes life time and time again.

For real change to occur, the person discipled must experience grace.  The Spirit must convict and open eyes.  Grace is undeserved favor–that means that in struggle and rebellion, you mirror grace to them–the undeserved favor of the gospel.  From much first-hand experience, I will tell you this is not easy.  My first reaction is anger, then wrestling through prayer in why I reacted in anger, then (hopefully) remembering the gospel toward me so I can remember it toward them.  Prayer for what is really going on within the person and the relationship.  Then, prayer for that person’s heart and repentance.

God is teaching me much now about praying for the “why” in the person’s rebellion.  I read an article the other day that really challenged my practice and heart in discipleship.  What people “do” shows what they are worshipping.  It shows what they want other than God.  Instead of going in and tackling the outward behavior, we need to begin to mine for the inward want that is causing the outward behavior.  Real change comes when that is tackled and the desire and love for Jesus grows.  After all, isn’t the greatest commandment “love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength?”  The thing that they did to rebel is showing that they do not love Him with everything.

Love for someone or something is fed by desire.  We learn in His word what is true and good to desire.  Then, we ask the Spirit to renew us and make us and mold us to love God fully–for that is where true desire is filled.  In Jesus, true joy is experienced.  I want those I disciple to “get” this.  This is not a one lesson time.  This usually involves struggle and falling and pain.  This involves lots of listening, asking questions and modeling this pursuit in your heart as the disciple-maker.

So, this disciple-making journey is not for those who are looking for ease and accolades.  You are going to see your sludge and get messed up in another’s sludge.  However, you get to get and give glorious grace and really rejoice in the Lord when change occurs.  There is no “safe” bet for one to disciple.  The most “together” young woman or man is still a sinner with idols abounding.  YOU have idols abounding.  Whether they are a rebellious prodigal son or a dutiful older brother, they need the gospel…and a lifetime of refinement by the Spirit in the  body of Christ (the Church).  There is great sorrow and great joy in this journey of helping others grow in Christ.  There are some that I have walked beside that at times I am so sure of their walk with Christ and at times I wonder if they have ever met Him.  This is where I have to release them to Him–they are not “mine.”  I remember the scripture that says “those who endure to the end will be saved.”  My allegiance is to Him and Him alone, and my worth comes from Him and not the direction of the lives of those I have poured into.  However, it is great joy to see those really get the gospel and pour it generously and painfully into the lives of others.

           Last Sunday morning, I had the joy of a talking with a  woman from my class in the fall.  She reached out to me with tears in her eyes exclaiming that she was so glad that she had taken the class and been exposed to the challenge and truth of preaching the gospel to herself everyday.  She exclaimed that it had made a tremendous difference in her life in all ways.  That, my friends, is exposure and the Spirit’s work together working to bring someone to renewed knowledge and love of Christ daily. 

       Several people who have taken the class have been changed from the core–out of many who have taken the class.  Just as different women in disciple-making relationships react in different ways.  I have learned not to compare.  I have to rely in all times and in all relationships on the Spirit’s work in each person’s life.  This is hard work, but it is so worth it when I see that the Spirit has worked planting the truth and growing the truth of Him that we faithfully pour out.  He waters and grows us, and He is good.

       Four years ago, my mom bought plants for me for my birthday.  It was so much fun to go together to pick them.  One of the plants was a peony.  It came in a small pot, but I saw the potential of what was to come.  The problem, I did not plant it in the ground until the end of summer when it was root bound.  It was as good as dead!  Each year, I am amazed when leaves come up out of the ground in spring.  Until this year, those leaves have been quite pitiful.  There was a time when my nephew actually weedeated said leaves. 

      Imagine my joy and surprise when the plant’s strength seemed to have tripled this year.  And, hold on to your seats, there were actual blooms.  Everyday for a month and a half, I examined the blooms sure that they would pop any day.  The day finally came.  These soft pink, velvetly, flowers with heavenly aroma came forth.  I was overjoyed.  For four years, I had waited for those blooms.  It was worth it!

        It seems I waited so long for the blooms to burst forth into flowers.  I could not see all that was going on inside–the processes, the growth in the roots below the soil.  The beauty of the opened buds cannot be explained properly. 

       As always, gardening turns my heart and mind toward the spiritual.  I think about these young women that I pour into.  I can tend the garden, but I cannot produce the fruit.  I can love and pray, but I cannot see all the processes going on in the roots (the heart).  Sometimes there are years (just like the peony bush) where processes of growth are going on beneath the surface—little incremental leaf growth that disappears in winter then grows again.  Planting, watering, mulching, then doing it again.  Pouring His word into lives even when you cannot see the effects–faithfulness even in frustration–does reap fruit!  We may get to see the harvest, and we may not.  When the blooms burst forth, we see it is worth it.

     When those blooms burst forth, I already lamented their dying.  I thought “I wonder how long they will stay?”  Big rains were coming, and I ended up cutting them and putting them in my living room to be enjoyed.  I took pictures to remember them.    I know that life holds seasons all for purposes–blooming,pruning, dying, growth beneath the surface to burst forth again.  The beauty of the flower can become an idol instead of trusting the One who brought the growth.  

     My prayer for all the women I disciple–that their roots continue to grow deeply into Christ whatever season it is.  One of my favorite songs written by David Wilcox says

 ”Summer lasted a generation then the winter wind. Bounty harvest seems so endless, til it gave what it could give.  Prosperity will have it’s seasons, and even when it’s here, it’s going by.  And when it’s gone, we pretend we know the reasons. All the roots grow deeper when it’s dry.”

“Looked so easy, we change the weather. We would turn this world ourselves, our world so small.  But slower rhythms, still unheard of, say that every blessed summer some day has to fall.”

       Another song comes to mind: 

 ”This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow.  I know I’m filled to be emptied again.  The seed I received I will sow.”

      An encouragement to you disciple-makers–Trust the One who brings the fruit–not the fruit itself.  Trust the One who has purpose for each season–we do not see the depth of what He is doing.  Pray, fertilize with the word, love, be patient, pray again, exhort again.  If the Spirit is there, there will be fruit.  And, in the times of dry where the unseen roots are growing deeper, remember the beauty of the fruit of the past and remember He is faithful.

       Remember that in Christ, we are perennials.  With each year, we gain strength because He establishes us more and more in Him.  And, in times we cannot even see, multiplication is going on.  Fruit in our lives brings further fruit and spreads to the establishment of others.  Tend the soil with the fertilizer of His word.  Water comes with fellowship with Him.  Spread your arms and face toward the Son.  Grow in Him, the Vine, and allow Him to prune those areas of growth so that He may be further glorified.

This July, three young women went with me to Florida for our first retreat as a ministry.  It was a wonderful time to get to know each other, encourage each other in our walks with Christ through conversation and service, and laugh a lot.

This fall, 5 young women participated in a retreat at the lake along with me.  We focused on building a God-entranced worldview by focusing on meditating on Psalm 24 and 25.  We also shared our life stories with one another. The sharing of  life and faith stories with one another encouraged growth individually and corporately.  Good food, conversation, rest and fellowship helped to refuel us.

This fall, we worked to build community amongst the 8 young women I am meeting with this year.  The first Thursday of each month, the majority of us got together for dinner and sharing at my home.  It is no coincidence that there are similar ties and struggles in a group this big whether it be tackling the transition between college and career, dealing with the divorce of one’s parents, or hungering for deep real friendships as they try to grow into the women God is maturing them to be.  As a disciple-maker, I can encourage growth and challenge, but without the community of Christ around each woman, that growth is hindered.  I pray that these relationships grow as these young women learn to reach out, encourage and serve one another.  It brings me joy, as a facilitator to see these young women reach out to each other outside of planned meetings to recognize one another’s birthdays, to listen to and encourage one another through struggles, and to serve one another.

Another highlight of the fall was the Equipping for Discipleship class with women ranging in age from the 20s to the 60s each Tuesday morning at Fellowship Church.   It was a rich time of learning, looking in His word, and encouraging one another to pour our lives into others.  What a blessing it was to see how hearts and families have changed and rearranged priorities to be in line with the grace of the Gospel and the pursuit of holiness in response to the truth of what they learned. We studied Jerry Bridges book The Discipline of Grace and additional materials from Jennifer and Amy Denning, co-leader.  There were many discussions about disciple-making with children, younger women, neighbors, etc.  I sat with tears in my eyes and worship in my heart as I heard women explain with joy how the Gospel has come alive even more in their hearts and they are learning how to look at everything from marriage to parenting to career “in light of the Gospel.”  Wow!  I wish I had a video.  God is amazingly faithful and good when we come before His truth to mold our hearts.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a woman in her 30s who took the class.  She has four young children, and she definitely has her hands full!  Imagine my joy and surprise when she told me that she was beginning to use the material from class with two groups.  One, a group of college girls she had built relationships with years ago as a Young Life leader.  They came to her asking to know more about God–not dating or happiness–but a real relationship with God!  Then, she is using the material and book to lead a group of women unfamiliar with disciple-making relationships to equip them to disciple other women.  She also told me how another woman from the class who is a disciple-maker is using the book and material with a college-aged girl for discipleship.  Thank you God for multiplying and making your gospel known.

Throughout the summer and the beginning of the school year, I have had several young women come to me looking for me or another woman to pour into their lives.  It has been a joy and privilege to connect several women in my class or prior classes with young women to disciple as well as women I know and trust in the faith community.  Five young women in their twenties are now in disciple-making relationships with women who have a connection to WDC.  Fruit happens when hearts are obedient to God’s call.

This spring, I did not teach the Equipping for Discipleship class at Fellowship Church.  Amy Denning has been teaching the class, and the Lord is doing a great work.  He provided through her and is teaching mightily through her.  I am thankful for women who are gospel-centered and following Christ with their whole heart to pour in and teach other women.  This is the fruit of discipleship!

The remainder of my time this fall and spring has been spent pouring in God’s word to 8 young women one on one.  It is hard work and an immense privilege to see God graciously refine and grow others as He grows me, as well, in the Truth of His glorious Gospel.  This ministry is not about simply listening to help people “feel better” or giving advice as to how to “live better.”  Through learning to engage God’s word and live in His truth, we are all learning what it is to trust Him even when we may not feel that things are going our way—when it is hard, when others forsake and disappoint us, when we seem to be so aware of our sin or apathy.  We are learning what it is to “think God’s thoughts after Him” being transformed by the renewal of our minds in His truth.  What a privilege.  Thank you so much for giving to help encourage the growth of disciple-making!

Jennifer Pinkner

Laura, Jen, Liz and Lillie--Fall Retreat

The year is winding down at WDC, and we wanted to share some pictures of growth from throughout the year from retreats to relational times.  Thank you for your prayers and support.  We have had many hellos and goodbyes this year as young women move in and out of this ministry.  Thanks be to God for His gift in Christ.

Lillie and Liz stuck going in circles!

Karli and Jen--Disciple-making at its best!

A portion of the Fall Equipping for Discipleship Class--God did amazing things!

Laura and Karli getting girly on Fall Retreat

Lillie, Ashley, Karli and Laura on Fall Retreat

Jen, Ashley and Lillie--at the beach

A fun walk on the beach--July 09

Lillie

Kate, Jen and Liz

Kate is in Nashville in school for Interior Design.  Liz is preparing to go to India to work with students at a school with opportunities to pour out Christ.

Mary Elizabeth continues to meet with Jen and pours her heart into college-aged women as she and her husband lead a College Life community group.

Jen and Tiffany at her rehearsal dinner

Tiffany is now on the coast of Mississippi alongside her husband, Chris, ministering to teenagers.

Mary Claire and Jen at Tiffany's wedding

Mary Claire is now in Colorado working for Focus on the Family Institute developing Disciple-making relationships with young women as the activities and resident director.

Kaitlin is second from the left--We began meeting after meeting at Tiffany's wedding. Kaitlin was in Tiff's sorority and in the Bible study she led. Kaitlin has also been instrumental in Spenser's (another WDC addition this year) faith walk.